Tag Archives: mind-fullness openness

Stop lying to me!

2 May

As I walk through the bushes of life where each flower is a soul I keep thinking about it. Why would he do that? In my face, as if I am someone worth lying to. Then the road stops.. Without a sign. It just stops. I lean over to see what is next, but the only thing I see is fog. I blink my eyes a few times and wait for the fog to clear up. Curious as I am, I can’t leave until I can see what I will find at the end of the road.

Then I hear something. Very clear. A bird singing and water moving. I look down and see a waterfall. it moves and moves and I become dizzy and try to hold on to a tree next to me. Mistaking the distance, I grasp air and I can feel myself tumble over.

I see his face, clear with every freckle he has, and smiling. Anger is pushed far away from the feelings of love that I feel towards him. I push my arms above my head and I grasp for air as I am moved violently through the river. A glimpse of the waterfall makes me realize, I must have fell hard, but only my right arm feels bruised. The water cools down and I climb out if it. My breathing is hard and I am fighting not to fall into unconsciousness. After a few minutes my heart get’s his old rhythm back but then I start panicking. Where am I and how I am going to get out of here? I don’t recognize anything here!

A small squirrel jumps next to me and I am startled for a second. The brown squirrel with black spots on her face, like freckles, looks up to me for a second. Then jumps away and I start following her. Getting up did not hurt, so I must not have any other bruises.

Just when I turn around a tree, he is standing there. His freckled face tanned by the sun.

‘I am sorry’, he says, ‘I didn’t mean to’. I watch him and while hearing his words, confused. Where am I, where is the squirrel and how did he find me? ‘I am sorry’, he says again, ‘don’t be so harsh for yourself’.

Am I harsh to myself? I don’t think so. What makes him say that?

‘You want to be the best in class, but you forget you need to be the best you can be’, he whispers, ‘and that is never better than others…but only different’.

He sighed and stares at me for a few seconds then says softly, ‘ Stop lying to yourself and start living your life as it is. You truly are amazing but if you keep copying, there will be nothing left from your vibrant, enthusiastic and loving personality’.

I watch his face slowly change and I start recognizing my own freckles and my own voice as his voice becomes softer. How can this be, I think to myself, but with no feel of fear.

Taking a deep breath I feel myself fall and fall and fall, until I hit something hard. Opening my eyes, I can see my bag, my chair, my bed and my dressoir. I fell of my bed? I stand up and look into my mirror. My face and my freckles and I promise myself right there and then that I will never lie to myself again, for I love ‘I’ to much!

Pondering in thoughts and feeling strong by the new resolution I made to myself, I smile and walk away while rubbing my right arm…


The secret of happiness

28 Apr

Tell me, tell me! What is the big secret everyone keeps talking about? I hear people whisper in the small streets, hiding their mouths. I cant read what they are saying, but i feel the need to know. A secret that will help me be happy for ever.

Never feeling unhappy again looking at others or thinking about possessions i do not have. That idea fills me with joy already. I am willing to pay the person that reveals this secret to me, all I have. I would sell my house, my expensive clothes and even any valuable coins i might have hidden in my closet out of sight for burglars. Just tell me what i need to know to be happy.

Running through the streets i figure that once i know the secret, I can be the richest person alive. I would market it and sell it for more money than I can imagine. The money would make me happy AND the secret.

I stumble and fall while hitting my head against a rock. I feel dizzy and I am starting to feel the urge of throwing up. Slowly I open my eyes and I see a small boy looking at me. Smiling, while holding something in his hands. It’s a unicorn toy. He looks down on me, although i am much taller than he is. Then i realise i am still on the ground. Moving my head gives me a strong headache so I decide to rest for a while.

‘What happened’, I asked the boy. He smiles at me and points to a rope 2 inches above the ground, held tight between a tree and a little wall. Someone tricked me, I realize! When looking back at the boy, he smiles as if in the knowing that he is the one responsible for my fall.

‘No, I am not’, he speaks in a soft voice. I look at him, still feeling anger but very surprised as his voice is mature and calm. ‘You tricked yourself’, he said, never losing his smile.

‘How do you mean I tricked myself’, I asked the boy, while remembering that I need to continue my search.

‘You have yourself, your body, your mind, your believes, your friends, your family and above all your sanity and still you are not happy’, the boy said and then asked, ‘why?’

‘Because there must be more than this’, I replied, not very sure of my own answer.

The boy starts laughing and says,’yes, there is more, but you are too blind to see it’. I frown and start thinking about my own life. I have a wife that loves me, children that adore me and friends that love to spend time with me. What else can there be, for me to be more happy, I think to myself.

It is as if the boy hears my own thoughts. ‘You need to realize what you have and be content about it’, he says, ‘then you need to make sure you keep reminding yourself so you don’t forget’.

The sun blinds me and i blink a few times. When i get up, the boy is gone. Where he was standing, I can see a velvet rose growing. One single velvet rose, but blossoming as if nurtured by angels. I turn around and see the tree, the wall but no rope and then i start running. Running over the hill, through the small streets where I find a flower shop and I buy seeds.

Once I am home I plant the seeds and smile at my wife. She smiles back and I now realize, the biggest bottleneck to see the secret of happiness is my own greediness. I now own a whole garden full of velvet roses, reminding me every day to smile at how the secret changed my life.

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