Tag Archives: lie lying love waterfall honesty loving myself I

Stop lying to me!

2 May

As I walk through the bushes of life where each flower is a soul I keep thinking about it. Why would he do that? In my face, as if I am someone worth lying to. Then the road stops.. Without a sign. It just stops. I lean over to see what is next, but the only thing I see is fog. I blink my eyes a few times and wait for the fog to clear up. Curious as I am, I can’t leave until I can see what I will find at the end of the road.

Then I hear something. Very clear. A bird singing and water moving. I look down and see a waterfall. it moves and moves and I become dizzy and try to hold on to a tree next to me. Mistaking the distance, I grasp air and I can feel myself tumble over.

I see his face, clear with every freckle he has, and smiling. Anger is pushed far away from the feelings of love that I feel towards him. I push my arms above my head and I grasp for air as I am moved violently through the river. A glimpse of the waterfall makes me realize, I must have fell hard, but only my right arm feels bruised. The water cools down and I climb out if it. My breathing is hard and I am fighting not to fall into unconsciousness. After a few minutes my heart get’s his old rhythm back but then I start panicking. Where am I and how I am going to get out of here? I don’t recognize anything here!

A small squirrel jumps next to me and I am startled for a second. The brown squirrel with black spots on her face, like freckles, looks up to me for a second. Then jumps away and I start following her. Getting up did not hurt, so I must not have any other bruises.

Just when I turn around a tree, he is standing there. His freckled face tanned by the sun.

‘I am sorry’, he says, ‘I didn’t mean to’. I watch him and while hearing his words, confused. Where am I, where is the squirrel and how did he find me? ‘I am sorry’, he says again, ‘don’t be so harsh for yourself’.

Am I harsh to myself? I don’t think so. What makes him say that?

‘You want to be the best in class, but you forget you need to be the best you can be’, he whispers, ‘and that is never better than others…but only different’.

He sighed and stares at me for a few seconds then says softly, ‘ Stop lying to yourself and start living your life as it is. You truly are amazing but if you keep copying, there will be nothing left from your vibrant, enthusiastic and loving personality’.

I watch his face slowly change and I start recognizing my own freckles and my own voice as his voice becomes softer. How can this be, I think to myself, but with no feel of fear.

Taking a deep breath I feel myself fall and fall and fall, until I hit something hard. Opening my eyes, I can see my bag, my chair, my bed and my dressoir. I fell of my bed? I stand up and look into my mirror. My face and my freckles and I promise myself right there and then that I will never lie to myself again, for I love ‘I’ to much!

Pondering in thoughts and feeling strong by the new resolution I made to myself, I smile and walk away while rubbing my right arm…

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: