Tag Archives: ambition

Enlightened

17 May

A bright light woke me up. It almost blinded my sight. For a second I forgot that this clear light has been waking me up for years. Every Friday morning at 8am. Not sure why I keep forgetting each time, I try to cover the bright light with my blanket. It is too strong, so I give up.

Standing up the wall across me is as bright as it can be as I am facing it and the light is coming from my belly. Not sure what other people will ever think of it, I have long decided not to tell anyone. Not even my best friends. I have been sure to hide it from everyone. No one in my household has it, I think. I am sure I have never seen it, at least.

The door knob moves and I realize the house has woken up. Everyone will start their morning ritual and so will I. I start washing my face ignoring the person in front of my door. I am good at this ignoring, it actually has become a habit. Sometimes I don’t even do it on purpose.

After I have washed my face, I start undressing to wash my body. While I think about what I need to do today, the light starts fading. And when, in thoughts, I have reached my evening tasks the light is completely off. Leaving behind a warm glow that I can only feel, but no person can see.

Rushing through the day, I start by cleaning my room and moving from room to room to finish my chores. Then I walk towards the market to do the daily groceries as always and as I walk I can see the market shows all colors of the world. Pure red tomatoes, brown cinnamon and the brightest color citrons.

My eyes will never get used to this amazing festival of colors. While walking I start thinking about them and how I would like them to be used to create miraculous art. I notice a person pointing towards my belly. I stand still to ask what is going on and then I see more and more people standing still. I look down and I freeze. Instantly. They are looking at me because I am a freak!

The people are now standing in a circle as if they are preparing me for the prison of freaks that I belong in. I can’t believe that after years my secret is revealed. My eyes become weary and my mind feels as if a hurricane has possessed it.

The oldest woman in the crowd walks up to me. No emotion I can read in her face that would scare me or would calm me down. She points a crooked finger at me and asks in a creeky voice, ‘what is that I see?

I feel sweat going past my spine and my legs shake. Panick is what will overwhelm me, I realize and I start feeling the urge to cry.

Then I notice people start to smile at me and I even hear the shoe-maker say to calm down. Somehow their words reach me and are reflected with ease in my mind.

She asks me again, ‘what is that light I see? I follow her finger to my belly and I answer that I don’t know and that I am sorry. She smiles at me and says, ‘now listen to your gut and tell me what that light is’.

I think for a second overwhelmed by the fact all people know my secret and are not judging me or wanting to lock me in a prison. Then I answer with a voice more confident than I necessarily feel, ‘it is my joy’. She looks at me and start to clap her hands. More people join her and start to clap their hands as well and before I knew it, the crowd was applauding. Pleasantly surprised I feel the light grow and grow until I feel enlighted. ‘Finally, you have let it shown, my dear’, the woman said, ‘your joy is what lightens up your life’. Then she took a step and touched my shoulder and whispered, ‘now tell me, what makes you happy’.

The crowd is silent and looks at me full of excitement and then I feel the answer clearly written in my head. As if projected by my soul and I say, ‘what makes me happy is to use colors and pencils and make the most beautiful drawings to capture the beauty of life’.

I wake up by the tears running past my cheeks and I look at my paintings at the wall and the one I am still working on. A sudden feeling of peace comes upon me and I smile. I smile for I have been enlightened. I have decrypted what is my joy and therefore will never have a dark day again..

Listen to your gut feeling and start looking for that light in you!

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: